I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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