we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We are two peas in an std pod
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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