I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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