It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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