WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize