Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
