i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
