Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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