3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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