Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
