i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
