was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
