I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
