Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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