If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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