He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
