Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
