I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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