In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
