I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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