Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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