Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
