even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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