its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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