You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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