So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
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Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
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Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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