this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Alive.
So much puke
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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