he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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