Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
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You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
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I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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