Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize