Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
