glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
