hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
