There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
