Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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