That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize