hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
