it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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