AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There's always time for handjobs
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
