girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
