I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
