if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize