i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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