Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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