I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
