I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
