Nicole vs. Life
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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