yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
