is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize