Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
