note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
