I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
