My hand turned me down
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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