i don't like sucking hair
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
