our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
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I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
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Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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