I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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