Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Panties = found
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
