I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I will be naked everywhere
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
