Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize