I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
