I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I love having hate sex.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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