I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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