it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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